strine(australian) jokes

[Tokolosh]

The following are results from an OZ-words Competition where entrants were asked to take an Australian word, alter it by one letter only, and supply a witty definition. Clearly, you need to be an Aussie to understand. Billabonk: to make passionate love beside a waterhole Bludgie: a partner who doesn't work, but is kept as a pet Dodgeridoo: a fake indigenous artefact Fair drinkum: good-quality Aussie wine Flatypus: a cat that has been run over by a vehicle Mateshit: all your flat mate's belongings, lying strewn around the floor Shagman: an unemployed male, roaming the Australian bush in search of sexual activity Yabble: the unintelligible language of Australian freshwater crustaceans Bushwanker: a pretentious drongo, who reckons he's above average when it comes to handling himself in the scrub Crackie-daks: 'hipster' tracksuit pants. And for the Kiwi's amongst us: Shornbag: a particularly attractive naked sheep.

[mango67]

Toko,
Most of the jokes I know are R-rated (at best). But below is one of the cleaner ones.

"I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me that I would come into some money.
Last night, I had s*x with a girl called Penny."

[Tokolosh]

yeah me too Mango.......cant offend the more sensitive in the forum either lol

[tradingjunky]

The following are results from an OZ-words Competition where entrants were asked to take an Australian word, alter it by one letter only, and supply a witty definition. Clearly, you need to be an Aussie to understand. Billabonk: to make passionate love beside a waterhole Bludgie: a partner who doesn't work, but is kept as a pet Dodgeridoo: a fake indigenous artefact Fair drinkum: good-quality Aussie wine Flatypus: a cat that has been run over by a vehicle Mateshit: all your flat mate's belongings, lying strewn around the floor Shagman: an unemployed male, roaming the Australian bush in search of sexual activity Yabble: the unintelligible language of Australian freshwater crustaceans Bushwanker: a pretentious drongo, who reckons he's above average when it comes to handling himself in the scrub Crackie-daks: 'hipster' tracksuit pants. And for the Kiwi's amongst us: Shornbag: a particularly attractive naked sheep.

wow very good
made me lol

[Keith Walters]

The following are results from an OZ-words Competition where entrants were asked to take an Australian word, alter it by one letter only, and supply a witty definition. Clearly, you need to be an Aussie to understand. Billabonk: to make passionate love beside a waterhole Bludgie: a partner who doesn't work, but is kept as a pet Dodgeridoo: a fake indigenous artefact Fair drinkum: good-quality Aussie wine Flatypus: a cat that has been run over by a vehicle Mateshit: all your flat mate's belongings, lying strewn around the floor Shagman: an unemployed male, roaming the Australian bush in search of sexual activity Yabble: the unintelligible language of Australian freshwater crustaceans Bushwanker: a pretentious drongo, who reckons he's above average when it comes to handling himself in the scrub Crackie-daks: 'hipster' tracksuit pants. And for the Kiwi's amongst us: Shornbag: a particularly attractive naked sheep.

Agree you have to be an Aussie to get these ones.

Gave me a good laugh

[trader]

Three ladies all have separate boyfriends named Leroy.

One evening, while sharing a few drinks at the bar, one of the ladies suggests, "Let's name our Leroys after a soda pop, because I'm tired of getting my Leroy mixed up with your Leroy, and her Leroy mixed up with your Leroy."

The other two ladies agree.

The first lady speaks out, "Okay then, I'm gonna name my Leroy 7-Up because he has 7 inches and it's always up!"

The three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other high fives.

Then, the second lady says, "I'm gonna name my Leroy Mountain Dew because he can mount and do me any day of the week."

Again, the three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other more high fives.

The third lady then says, "You know, those two Leroys were good, but I'm gonna name my Leroy, Jack Daniels."

The other two ladies shout in unison, "Jack Daniels? That's not a soda pop... that's a hard liquor!"

The third lady bursts out, "That's my Leroy!"

[trader]

If Life Were Like A Computer:

You could add/remove someone in your life using the control panel.

You could put your kids in the recycle bin and restore them when you feel like it!

You could improve your appearance by adjusting the display settings.

You could turn off the speakers when life gets too noisy.

You could click on “find” (Ctrl, F) to recover your lost remote control and car keys.

To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!

If you mess up your life, you could always press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!

[raa]

not australian but...
you know people who stand in metro keeping diffetent signs? what kind of sign would you imagine a woman with one tooth, one eye, one ear, one tit, one hand and one leg would have ?






half woman - half price!